Hmm...

So, this week I turned 23. two of my best friends forgot my birthday (A and S)...does this make them bad friends? No, not at all...but it does make them not the greatest. Then I started to realize that compared to my friend (B), who I have known the longest (the last 15 years) and the very first to wish me a happy birthday on my birthday, they are the best people in the world. The last 4 times I have tried to hang out with that friend...she's turned me down. One time would have been $8 + drinks, another $6 even, another would only cost her the gas to get my house and the last one was only time, I covered the prices, I planned on driving, all she had to do was give me her time...and every time she turned me down. However, today takes the cake, she told me 2 hours before it started that she couldn't go...so not even really time to find someone else to join me.

Being rather pissed about it, I was talking to A....she instantly said if she wasnt busy she woulda came, which I responded with if I had known B was going to bail a little sooner, I would have asked her, and really planned on it.

Which got me thinking...as I mentioned above, I've known B for 15 years. I've known A for about 5 years, but have really only been friends for the last 3ish. B has been through a lot of things with me, the divorce of my parents, death of family members...etc. When we had to put my cat down this past summer, who I had before meeting B, so she was also 15 years old. B was never there for me. A on the other hand, talked to me about it, got me out of the house, which was something I desperately needed at the time. One of the events I mentioned above, the $8+drinks, B said she couldn't go because money was an issue....A told me she would try to stop by, even though she had spent all day driving and was sick...OH and without me even having to ask if she would come, and even though she didn't make it, the fact that she offered was more important. This weekend, we are doing my birthday celebration ($6) again, asked B if she wanted to go, and once again no. A on the other hand, helped me plan the day and we're going to be hanging out watching movies before hand. Do we have to? Nope, not at all, but it is a very nice gesture.

I am seriously thinking about cutting B from my life, we are at very different points, I work, she doesn't, I'm sober (except for the occasional night of drinking), shes almost always high. I do everything I can to not mooch of my family and she has no problems with it. I learned a few years ago that I can actually remove people from my life, and have done it one before, but now I'm thinking it's time to do it again. But at the same time I don't because she gets a lot of stuff I talk about...or she just answers with the quickest thing she can..So I really don't know what to do. But her cake is completed, the frosting is on, and candles are in...just waiting to be lit...and once they are, I don't think I will be able to look back at what our friendship actually used to be. Instead just let us each get on with our own lives...we've done it before...and it can very easily can, and might, happen again. And if you're really confused about the cake thing...."The icing on the cake" I prefer the flame on the candle...because I feel like it gives it more layers :)