This week, I had to say good bye to my kitty of 15 years. It was probably the hardest and most emotional time of my life so far.
This week, and a little of the week before, I realized the people I have for friends. And I realized a couple of my friends suck as friends. It could just be me being over emotional, it's totally a possibility.
One "friend" I have known forever, you'd think she would be there for me, even in the slightest....nope, I got a "damn I'm sorry" text and that was it....The week before we were making plans to go to the movies....getting pretty much everything planned out and then she told me she couldn't because she was having a "pot party"...as in everyone is getting high. I have never touched weed, never had the desire to smoke or anything. and lately all she does is smoke....as i stated before I might just be over emotional or something....but its pretty sad when someone you've been best friends with since elementary school puts you on the back burner to weed. Every conversation we have at least 10 times the phrase "I was so high...." comes out. I am getting sick of it! So back to the movie thing...tickets would have been taken care of it would have cost her $5 for gas (and anything else she wanted to buy, candy and what-not), then I find out today she went to the movies anyways...now how am I supposed to take that? Because I'm kinda insulted.
Another "friend" I found out has lied to me about almost everything going on in her life. Why she did something, stopped doing this, why that's there, I know its confusing...but we're supposed to be best friends, and she can't be honest with me, and I have to find all this shit out from another friend. And it took this other friend for me to realize that I've just been used by her....no this isn't a brainwashing thing or whatever, she simply stated how it is between them and I happen to realize some similarities. Call me when you need a sitter, that's fine, you wouldn't be the only one to do that, but ONLY calling when you need a sitter, you fall into a different category there. I do have other friends who I would probably not even be friends with now if it weren't for the kids, but even after she comes home, and I'm "off the clock" we hang out, we joke around, I can even call her husband a friend now. I can't do that with the "friend's" husband.
So, I'm going to be making some changes, and kicking some people who I don't want or need in my life. and I'm going to replace them with people who I can talk to, I can hang out with, and I enjoy being around. I'm sad that I have to make these decisions....but I've had to before, I have to pick people who are good for my life (I know it sounds selfish, but I don't have anyone else I have to worry about right now, kids, boyfriend/husband, nothing like that). Now I look back at the people I kicked out before...and I'm happy, I hear about how shitty their life is right now and it makes me wonder if I would have been acting more like them, from hanging out with them so much...cause I started too. My life is mine....I don't want to have people in it who are going to bring me down, emotionally or mentally, it doesn't matter. I'm done with it.
